My Mother's Melanoma

by Amanda
(England)

Mum's Melanoma Scar

Well, you've read my mother's story above. As a daughter, I can't tell you how emotionally draining the days surrounding her diagnosis were. For me, the worst part was waiting to hear from her when she was at the hospital (my aunt had gone with her on several occasions). I remember the day she went to see the consultant for her diagnosis. She hadn't telephoned me for what seemed like a lifetime and I was extremely anxious. By the evening I was at my wits end and when she did eventually call me we ended up argueing about it! What she didn't realise was that I felt like I had been forgotton about. I had to go to work, and all day my stomach was in a knot waiting for her call. When she didn't, I could only assume the worst.

During our argument, she told me details about the lesion that had been removed. My heart sank when she recalled the consultant telling her the depth of the tumour was 2.2 centimeters. I knew from all the Googling I had done that this was unheard of and assumed that the cancer had grown so deep that there was no hope for her.

I remember telling my husband in floods of tears, his face expressionless as I told him she would not have long to live with a melanoma that advanced.

The next few weeks came and went, there were many tears. Then there was the second melanoma that was discovered at the back of her knee. Gradually though, emotions calmed down and Mum and I began to discuss the details again and apologised for the argument that night. I plucked up the courage to tell her that I knew the prognosis was poor. She was a little stunned and said that she was told she had a 75% survival rate. I was very confused at this point...how could she still be (and I hate to say it) 'alive', at 5 years for goodness sake! I blurted out that her tumour was 2.2cm's and that it had probably spread well past her lymph nodes and invaded other organs by now. She yelled "WHAT?"..."I never said 2.2cm's...I said 2.2 millimeters"!!

In amongst the shouting and crying during our argument, she had confused centimeters with millimeters. All that time I thought we had possibly just weeks left together and she had just forgotton which measurement was which.

I couldn't believe I had my mum back.

That was over 5 years ago now. She is still here today and there have been no further problems. In fact she was discharged from Addenbrookes in Cambridge at 4 1/2 years.

She has been a fantastic mum (a pain at times!) and has been a rock for us when we have needed her help with our son's health problems. I hope she finds her way to this page and discovers just how important she is to us.